I’m not wholly comfortable playing the latest Fallout games – I’m jumpy & nervy and there just aren’t enough swords in it for my liking – but I do enjoy spectating as other people play them.

And thus was born “The Badass Adventures of Chairface Chippendale“.

Clearly, I (nor any sane human) did not name this character. But he now wanders through the Mojave desert in Fallout: New Vegas, killing pretty much everything in sight. Chairface Chippendale is irredeemably a nasty man.

He wandered through the starting town of Goodsprings, merrily helping people with their little quests. Until he seemingly got a bit bored with that, and began to pick off the inhabitants of the town one by one. One guy was shot for tending his garden. I assume that was his crime, as that was the only thing he was doing. Others were shot because they were part of a militia that would come and kill Chairface if he chose to side with a group of outlaws who wanted to take over the town.

So he whittled the militia down to two, and took them on with six friends. Real fair fight there, buddy.

Then, for further badass adventures, Chairface Chippendale took on his six friends that he had helped take over Goodsprings. There was, from his player, a small and gleeful mutter about them being caught in the crossfire of a gunfight and that it wasn’t his fault, but that may have simply been lies to cover his back.

He has since wandered off in to the wilderness, doing quests and then killing people after he’s done them a good turn. Along with killing people who try and kill him.

Now, this could all lead to a long and rambling post about morality in gaming and whether Chairface Chippendale’s player is some sort of sociopath, but that would all be crap.

Its nice to be mean and horrible in games, because we’re not allowed to do it in real life. That why games are so great – you can do shit you cannot normally do.

EDIT: Apparently, our beloved Chairface is also an alcoholic, with a Scotch addiction. What a loveable rogue.

Whilst ill on thursday (27/1/11) I thought I’d get some gaming in whilst busy feeling sorry for myself. I’d slept through the morning and most of the afternoon, and thus I was terribly lazy and just decided to plow through whatever I’d left in my xbox.

Assassins Creed: Brotherhood.

Now, I almost claimed to have enjoyed the previous Assassins Creed games, which would be a slight lie as I only enjoyed one of them. The first game was a good effort, but suffered for a nasty case of repetitve mission syndrome and I found it kinda boring. ACII however, was an awesome game.

ACII was a feast for the eyes – not only for the beautifully lush scenery, but for the joy that is Ezio Auditore Da Firenze. He”s a handsome set of pixels, and it really doesn’t help that he has the whole italian accent thing going for him. Its even better when he gets the scar across his lip – ubisoft clearly know how to appeal to women.

What? I’m shallow. I like pretty things.

Brotherhood was fairly awesome, but as I never managed to finish ACII I didn’t expect to get through Brotherhood either. I’m terrible for not finishing games, I think I’ve only really completed a handful of games properly, so I assumed that I’d get stuck of lose interest halfway through.
So, after plodding along with the game for an hour I find myself locked in to the storyline quests and wielding the Apple of Eden. I was finishing the main storyline. And so I swore my way through the last bits as Desmond – why do I think he’s less attractive than Ezio? He has the same face – and watched open-mouthed as the end credits rolled.

I reccommend the game to anyone, its fabulous, but surprisingly short. And, if I can complete it, also surprisingly easy.